Trip to Al Asad

I have been in communication with the fine folks that are relieving us out here.  And I was thinking about their upcoming trip to Iraq (note: they actually have already made the trip to Kuwait—we expect them here at Al Asad tomorrow!!), and I realized that I had neglected to tell you all the story of our trip out here…
Traveling with the military is always an exciting, edge of your seat experience where the big question is “How long do I have to sit in this hard plastic chair before they tell me the plane is broken and I have to spend the night here?”  This is why we were quite happy to leave San Diego on a commercial aircraft—we deployed on Southwest Airlines—not too bad—even get credit towards a free ticket!  Flight was on time, comfortable and didn’t break down.  Unfortunately, that only gets us to Baltimore where we are to get on the government (contract) bird to Qatar.
Now flying commercial is nice in that respect, but it does have the drawback of not being real user friendly to us military types that are trying to bring our weapons on board—you might imagine that it always goes smoothly when you try and bring a dozen pistols onto a commercial airliner post 9-11; you might also imagine that it doesn’t always go smoothly—enough said.  Eventually, we got our people, our luggage and our weapons all in one spot in Baltimore International Airport and headed over the AMC (air mobility command) terminal.
As we walk over to the AMC terminal we see a line—an amazingly long and thick and unmoving line of hundreds and hundreds of people…  But we are 4 hours early—this cannot be our line—surely this line must be for some other flight—wrong!!  This is our line and it isn’t moving because they don’t know if the plane is working yet or not…  So, we wait in line for about three hours—we did get some nice cookies from some Girl Scouts—and finally find out that, indeed, the plane is broken, but it will likely take off tomorrow.  Our line is now not a line to check in but a line to get onto a bus (with luggage) and drive 30 minutes south to some restaurant that can handle the mass influx of people—that might be OK.  But, after dinner we get back on the bus and drive for an hour NORTH to the motel.  This is one of those high class Motel 6 joints where you can watch all manner of commerce and activity happen right in the parking lot outside your room window—capitalism at its best—these are the very democratic freedoms we are hoping to instill in the Iraqi national psyche…
Several members of the team took advantage of the unplanned layover to partake in a last beer or two…
The motel did include a nice free breakfast—a cup of coffee and a doughnut from the Dunkin Donuts next door—tasty…
The bus was supposed to pick us up at 5pm to take us back to the airport, but instead showed up at 3pm and we were whisked off to the airport.  Short line, check in, we are on the plane!!!
Pit stop in Germany—plane breaks down—again!!!  This time the nice folks at the AMC terminal supply us with frankfurters and a soda—wonderful meals in the airport…  At the Duty Free shop there was a 20 gallon bottle of whiskey that seemed to catch everyone’s eye—that is my memory from my first foray to Europe:  a sausage and a huge bottle of Johnny Walker.  Four hours later the plane is fixed and we are on our way!!!
As we are flying the captain of the plane gets on the loudspeaker and announces:  “It is 10:35pm local time and we have just entered Iraqi airspace.”  A huge roar erupts from the collective—you see, it is June 30th and if you spend ANY part of a month in a qualifying area there are certain tax breaks and special pays (hazardous duty/imminent danger) that you get for the ENTIRE month.  Interesting system….  So, everyone on the plane was sweating making into theater prior to the 1st of July—what with the multiple breakdowns we were pushing the limit, but we did make it.
We land safely in Qatar about 1230am.  It is dark, we are tired, we have to sit and listen to an hour and half briefing welcoming us to this, the middle of nowhere—a big flat piece of sand and rock—the most desolate thing I have ever seen—I have driven over the Great Salt flats, through Death Valley—they got nothing on this place…
Finally, released to fend for ourselves—we need to find a flight to Al Asad in Iraq.  We have on 0600 showtime for a flight later that morning—nothing to do but hang out for four hours…  a big orange sun at 0430 in the morning…  a shower.. a very fine breakfast—this isn’t so bad…
We bundle ourselves onto a C130 Hercules for the flight from Qatar to Al Asad—now that was uncomfortable!  It must have been 120(F and we are wearing all our battle rattle (flak and Kevlar) and are completely unacclimated to the heat and are packed in like sardines (no tomato sauce)—brutal!  I passed out after a few minutes on the plane—it was the only way to make it through that flight
It felt so damn good to get off of that plane—I was so happy to finally, after four days of fun and excitement to be here.
So, that is the story of how we arrived here—hopefully our replacements have equally exciting escapades during their trip to Al Asad!  Just so they show up!!