Connected

While I was deployed in 2005 and Peg was pregnant I spent some of my time, like now, reading. One of the things that I like to read is New Scientist magazine...

One article was troubling to me, it mentioned that there seems to be some benefit to father's being around during the pregnancy/before the
birth; these father's tend to bond better (however that is measured) with their babies; the theory is that the mother induces bonding receptiveness/behavior in the father via pheromones--tricky! I was a might concerned that when I got back and Izzy was born I might not have been appropriately pheromonally prepped for such a momentous occasion. Turns out, everything was just fine--Peg must have some powerful pheromones, or the article was a bunch of malarkey...

Pheromones aside, there was another article in New Scientist at the beginning of this deployment that said teen age girls have "better outcomes" (less drugs, sex, and rock n roll) when their fathers are around... I need to get home soon to keep Sid on the righteous path--just by the power of my presence!

In an attempt to maintain a bond with the baby, to keep the teen daughter on the straight and narrow, to be present, and to stay connected we have used the power of the internets...

There is significantly more connectivity on this deployment compared to last... actually, the connectivity is similar, but what I am allowed to do with it is different. Last time there was no private, personal network that I could log onto, and so there was no video chatting... video chatting makes all the difference!

At first she was happy to see me in the video chat--obvious delight.

Then, she found it boring... and spent chat time ignoring...

In the last two months she has been much more interactive; she is speaking a mile a minute and we have even played peek-a-boo through video chat; virtual tickling is better than no tickling at all.

Now when she hears the computer at home beep with an incoming request for a video chat she lets Peg know that Daddy is calling. Alas,
sometimes the technology isn't so good--or rather, the bandwidth isn't enough to support the technology and the video chat quality is poor.
That is what happened the other morning when I called to chat--there was intermittent video and the audio was bad. So, Izzy told Peg that "Daddy is broken"... Out of the mouths of babes...

Now, all of this connectedness comes with a price... Is a two year old better off without regular reminders that Daddy isn't around? This seems to make the reunion more difficult, but perhaps the separation is easier for her if she "forgets". On the other hand, I selfishly prefer that she does remember me and miss me! Occasionally she does something that breaks your heart, like standing next to my picture and crying... and answering the leading question of "do you miss daddy?" with vigorous head-nodding assent. But the beauty of a two year old is they have the attention span of a gnat--actually gnats can be pretty tenacious in trying to get in your nose, eyes and ears--so I guess the beauty of a two year old is that they have the attention span of a two year old. They can be missing you one second and then be happy as a lark the next and for the rest of the day. And, happy as can be to play via the internets... I will let you know how the reunion goes--one month!