Clouds

Today an amazing thing happened—I saw a cloud. Actually, I experienced the cloud—it was very, very deep…

I went for run around 1700 (5pm for you non-military folk)… The sun was getting towards the bottom part of the day—almost daylight savings, rather the end of daylight savings time—no one ever says that it is almost standard time—and, there was a pleasant breeze out. So, a leisurely run seemed in order—around 8 miles; what the heck else am I going to do after sitting at my desk typing e-mails and reports all day, type a blog entry??

About 5 minutes into the run I notice that it gets a bit darker (those Oakleys really come in handy) and cooler—this isn’t normal. I look up, and, BAM! Clouds! Not a whole bunch of clouds, just a long thin line of intermittent white fluffiness high on the horizon. Seems the weather doesn’t change too fast, because that one little cloud hid the sun for almost ten minutes—in California that cloud wouldn’t have lasted for more than 30 or 40 seconds in front of the sun. Interestingly (some might say fascinatingly), the clouds were moving from the South towards the North. The prevailing wind here o the ground is most definitely from the North towards the South. What’s up with that? Maybe a meteorologist can explain it to me some time—but it kept my mind off the legs while I made my loop around the main side of base.

I wanted to take a picture when I started running and saw that cloud, but I generally don’t carry a camera with me when I am running. Actually, I should carry a tape recorder—ok, let’s get real, a digital sound recorder—because when I am running I often hear the most amazing things. One day, I am running down by the wadi (swamp) and I can plainly hear the soothing sounds of 50cal machine guns going off in the not too far distance (Marines practicing on the range; nothing to see here; move along…). This is soon accompanied by the sight and sound of a pair of CH-46s (helos) flying low and directly overhead. Then, the coup de grace, an F-18 flies high over the base—the Sound of Freedom is loud! Normally when I run I think about all kinds of things, but at that point I couldn’t hear myself think—so, I stopped; thinking, not running. As the cacophony died down I was able to have a moment of clarity where I realized that I was, in fact, not in Kansas or San Diego anymore—I was running in the middle of Iraq, in the middle of Al Anbar Province, not the friendliest place around. It was enough to make me miss the California clouds…

Anyway, I took a picture of the clouds when I got back from the run, but before I went to the gym to “get my swell on”. Check it out (n.b. it just looks like I am pushing on my bulbous bicep to make it appear more massive).

Toilet Wars...

Long, long ago in a place far, far away there was an FDPMU team of good and wholesome Navy personnel living peaceably with their Army neighbors on a Marine base. The FDPMU folk shared a border with the Army folk and they shared the same set of port-o-potties. Everyone got along fairly well; generally the Army put the lids down and kept the doors closed, generally they kept all of their bodily wastes in the proper part of the port-o-potties. The Army medical personnel gave medicines to the Navy folk that were in need, and the Navy provided medical expertise and range time to the Army medical folk. Everything was going swimmingly.

Then, there was the RIP (recall the unfortunate acronym for Relief In Place). During this evolution the old Army folk had to leave to a better place, a promised land they called home. The new Army folk that took over the same lands were not so neat and companionable. They didn’t shut the doors or put down the lids in the port-o-potties; they regularly misplaced their bodily wastes. The port-o-potties became perilous!! Action had to be taken; a public health unit—a true preventive medicine unit—cannot standby and watch any ablution or lavatory facility become unsanitary. It is an aching anathema to us—this will not stand!!!

So, the microbiologist (well versed in the handling of stool) went to talk to the leader of these new, messy, dirty, poor-aiming Army folk… You might expect that someone in such a leadership position would be compassionate to our, his neighbors’, needs; that he would be wise in the ways of sanitation; that he would desire to have pristine port-o-potties for his troops. You would be sadly disappointed…

More action was needed! This action was actually taking place, unbeknownst to me, at the same time. Another of the toilet trespasses that the new Army folk had perpetrated was to use all of the alcohol based hand sanitizer, followed by some pagan ritual (not that there’s anything wrong with that) of throwing the container on the ground. Chief had orchestrated a trouble call to KBR/Halliburton (you know, the vice-president’s former employer—the guys that provide the basic life support services here on base) and complained about this lack of hand sanitizer. When the supervisor showed up she regaled him with our tale of terror. This man, being a purveyor of fine port-o-potties was horrified. Luckily, he was also a man of action. Upon his request, in very short order, two of the four port-o-potties were moved to the other side of our building and locks were installed to which only we have the key!!! What a bold move… So, now we have our own set of, once again, pristine facilities. The Army folk are living in squalor next door, and I would be glad to help them if they ask—but in the meantime we are waiting for the explosion of diarrheal stool samples that we are sure to get from these guys in the near future!!!

Finally!!!

Well, on a sudden I realized that I hadn’t posted in exactly two weeks—weird… I was trying to think why that might be. The last time I posted we had just gotten water back on so we could take a real shower—but, I don’t think I have been taking showers constantly since then—at least not so many that I couldn’t have posted. But, the coincidence that the water went off again yesterday (Sunday) and has been off since makes me wonder…

Anyway, I feel like I have been extremely busy the last two weeks, although I couldn’t tell you exactly what I have been doing—and not because I have been doing top secret stuff either. I guess the best description is busy work and support work to get the team ready to travel, finish up some reports and data analysis, and start liaising with the Army team that is going to relieve us—that is interesting because I feel like we just got here and I have a ton of things I want and need to get done, but I already have to start planning to leave! Anyway, all those task are things that keep me sitting at my desk all day in front of my computer—boring!!!

I have heard that there is a two month lull in the middle of a six month deployment—the first two months go by in a blur getting settled in and figuring out what is going on, the next two months are spent grinding out the routine that you developed in the first two months, and the last two months are spent getting ready to leave—funny how, in these reports, the only time left for actual, meaningful work is the boring middle two months!! I haven’t found that to be the case to date—things here are moving very fast and we are working at a fairly rapid pace. However, I will admit that not as many things in our daily life seem new and exciting right now…

[U] Not My Last Post...

Classification: UNCLASSIFIED//SENSITIVE BUT UNCLASSIFIED

Now, about the e-mail rant I wrote last week, you know, the thing where I have to classify and unclassified e-mail in order to send it—the sage continues…  Shortly after I wrote that there was, magically and without warning, a subtle change in the little helper application (this may be the most ironic use of the word “helper” in the English language) that makes you choose the classification of the e-mail:  that’s right, the choices of CONFIDENTIAL and SECRET disappeared!  Now, you have only one choice of classification:  UNCLASSIFIED (I am e-mailing this post to the blog just so you can see what the header and footer look like).  The great part, is that you STILL have to choose (i.e. move your mouse over to the spot and click on the list to activate and then scroll down and click the ONE choice) the classification.  You also have to choose a comment!  The choices for that are none/blank, FOR OFFICIAL USE ONLY, SENSITIVE BUT UNCLASSIFIED, and LIMDIS (for limited distribution).  So, while it used to take a single key stroke or mouse click to send an unclassified e-mail on the NIPR, it now takes a minimum of SIX mouse clicks and scrolling!!  Amazing!

 

Another bold experiment:  I noticed that the drop down menus allow you to type your own text in them—now this could be very interesting!?!?!  Even, fascinating!!!  I tried another test e-mail to Peg; this time I didn’t choose the preset wimpy UNCLASSIFIED, but I typed in my own brief summary of my feeling towards the program thinking them appropriate.  Foiled—when you type in an answer the little “OK to Send” won’t activate.  But I didn’t give up—never let the Man beat you!  I chose UNCLASSIFED and LIMDIS (what the heck?).  Now the magic “OK to Send” button lit up.  Now I went back to the drop down menu for classification of the e-mail, and (drum roll, please) I could change to my own text and the “OK to Send” button stayed activated.  They hadn’t counted on this kind of persistence!!  Feeling pretty good, I sent the e-mail on its way.  Everything went smoothly…  Too smoothly, I got that sinking feeling in my stomach—you know the one.  I had to check the e-mail that had actually been sent.  So, I navigate over to the Sent Mail folder and click on the message I had just sent…  BAM, there it was in all its wimpiness, the normal, redundant, 6-click UNCLASSIFIED warning on the top and bottom of my e-mail…  Drat, foiled again!!!

 

Classification: UNCLASSIFIED//SENSITIVE BUT UNCLASSIFIED
If this e-mail is marked FOR OFFICIAL USE ONLY it may be exempt from mandatory disclosure under FOIA. DoD 5400.7R, “DoD Freedom of Information Act Program”, DoD Directive 5230.9, “Clearance of DoD Information for Public Release”, and DoD Instruction 5230.29, “Security and Policy Review of DoD Information for Public Release” apply.

Hygeine Post!

OK, you can stop worrying—the security guys haven’t come to get me… yet. And, this is really big, I just took my first real shower in well over two weeks!! Who cares that the water heater was off? It was still wonderfully refreshing, I assure you
And, just in time too. In the mail today I received two packages. One of the packages contained a large number of Odor Eaters—enough for our whole 12-man team. So, either the sender was kind enough to include enough for everyone on the team; or, and this is my theory, they had been reading the blog and realized that two weeks without a shower is too long and that I must stink and that if someone has an odor about them the best thing you can do (besides preventing the odor with a shower) is give them something to combat that odor—ergo, Odor Eaters. I think I would have considered placing Odor Eaters in various pockets of my uniform and other strategic places, but the water came back on. So, I will share my Odor Eater bounty with the rest of the team, but I may keep a few back for the next time the water goes out…