Aarrrmmmyyy Training!!!

Well, the last two weeks and a half here at Fort Jackson have been interesting to say the least... and we all know brevity is my middle name, so the least is what I will say...

Training has progressed at breakneck speed (think of your neck being broken really, really, really slowly--that's just what it is like). We have covered all the appropriate "going to war" topics: basic rifle marksmanship, first aid (at least that is what they called the class... I think it may have been a not so subtle attempt at disinformation), road marching (yippee!), physical fitness (I have never seen so many smokers as in the Army... maybe it's just the Army in South Carolina), the Code of Conduct (so that in the case of capture by signatories to the Geneva convention we know how to behave--that'll happen), land navigation and convoy operations (neither of which are things one--at least myself--plans on doing in Iraq, but one never knows; all the convoy drivers/gunners could get hurt and they might call on a PM doc to "man up". In which case, we are all in a world of hurt).

However, there are a couple of valuable tidbits that I have learned here that are worth sharing with you:

*A Navy individual augmentee (IA) to the Army is said to be in the Narmy... cute...

*Brown Gravy--seems that anything even remotely resembling food can be made tastier and "nutritionier" by the addition of this wonderful sauce--elixir of the gods (note, even better with a dash of hot pepper sauce)

*Some colors of MREs are worse than others: I had heard tell of "cheap" MREs but had no idea... Normal MREs come with a little heater to warm up the unpalatable food and a small bottle of Tabasco Sauce to mask the unpalatableness. The MREs that the Navy bought us in order to indoctrinate us to the Army have less; less food (that's OK), no heater, and no Tabasco! And the flavors/choices are truly remarkable; to wit, "Imitation Pork Rib, Boneless, Chunked, Formed with imitation Caramel and Smoke Flavor"--who wouldn't want to eat that!?!?! The Mexican Enchilada with Beef and Textured Vegetable Protein was exceptionally memorable--I didn't feel right for days... Needless to say, we cannot wait to get to Iraq where the food will be significantly better...

*the GAO is everywhere, making sure our tax dollars are well spent. Two young ladies (from the GAO--"that nice man from the government said he would help us" is now the "that nice lady from the government") came to ask us if our training was what we "needed to get our jobs done in Iraq or Afghanistan?" Of course, the answer for all of the IAs, most selected for deployment because of special skills was "No, that's not what this training is for. It is useless for my highly skilled day to day job in Iraq, but it is good to know just in case I find myself in a convoy in the middle of nowhere that comes under attack and I get separated from everyone else." That's a pretty big IF. (note: I didn't get a chance to mention the tax dollars wasted on he MREs mentioned above--drat!!)

*practice does help with shooting--after innumerable attempts over many years I am finally an EXPERT with my M9 pistol--will wonders never cease (or is that will wonders ever cease? I think the question is "will wonders ever cease?" and the answer is "wonders will never cease." but that's just my shoot-from-the-hip [something else we learned to do with a rifle!] opinion).

OK, I fly to Kuwait on Saturday morning (0400!?!?! aaack!?!?). A week of training with little/no internet access. Then onto Iraq. So, I will catch you all on the flip side.