Flying by the Seat of My Pants…In a CH-46

Holy Moki!!! Does this look comfortable to you?? This picture was actually taken in Balad, around 0400 waiting for a flight home. But, the point I want to make is that lying on these rocks is about a jillion times more comfortable than riding in a CH-46 last night.
First of all, traveling around here is tiring enough because it is hot and you are wearing about 40 extra pounds of gear when you walk out to the plane/helo/truck/HMMWV—this is not comfortable. But, no one ever said the Marines let comfort enter into their decision-making processes. In some ways this is good—mission first is an admirable trait. Safety is important too—which is why flying at night is a good thing. It is just that nothing that is inherently uncomfortable gets any better at 0300 when you should be racked out somewhere!!

So, it is 0100 and I am getting on this helicopter—it is body-thumping loud, even with hearing protection. The seats are these relatively simple things made of an aluminum frame with some fabric stretched over it—just like you might see on a nice lawn chair or pool lounger, only those things are actually comfortable. I actually don’t think the seat itself is uncomfortable—it is the vibration. This seat is actually a Vibration Transmission and Amplifying System (VTAS).

Have you ever played with those gelatin kid’s toys that are oozy and gooey one minute, and then, when you press hard on them, they become much less elastic—very stiff and hard?? This is what the VTAS does to your body. It starts right in the gluteus—feels like you are sitting on concrete; sitting on concrete that is directly attached to your spine. I think the vibration sets up a standing wave of “hardness” a la the gelatin that spreads through your body. Not only that, the frequency of the vibration seems to be just that necessary to cause all the sensory nerve endings to misfire—causing all sorts of odd and possibly painful paresthesias. Then the vibration works its way up to your face where it isn’t so much that your cheeks are vibrating, but it feels like your entire face is vibrating off of your skull—cool! Except then the face feels like you just went to the dentist. And when you finally step off of this wonderful airborne conveyance, it feels like you have had a whole body Novocain shot. Funky…

No wonder traveling in Iraq makes you tired…